I so want these times to be fun for you.

But, there are too many people.

You get overwhelmed and just want to go home.

I admit it.

It’s hard for me.

I love the excitement.

And, you need low key.

In my heart, I know I can’t pretend it away.

Or cajole you into enjoying something you hate.

The more I try, the more overwhelmed you become.

Until you melt.

You just can’t hold it together one. more. minute.

You try every which way from Sunday to warn me it’s about to happen.

And, sometimes I just don’t listen.

I’m better than I used to be.

I heed the signs more often than not.

Not tonight.

I wanted it to be a treat.

And, for you, it was anything but.

Perhaps, one day, I’ll learn to let go of expectations of what I think should be.

And, embrace what is.

So, I can be the mama you need me to be.